The Busy Mum – Gender Roles

Mumforce - 11 Feb 18

I love a clean home.

I hate bad smells they make me feel anxious in my home.

I have a cleaning routine I follow everyday; I do it so my house stays an acceptable (to me) level of cleanliness and it helps my sanity. It’s the very mild left over’s of OCD that I suffered as a teen, if my surroundings are clean and organised then it’s one least thing to worry about.  

Well today I was like “Fook it!” I was fed up with the constant stream of cleaning. If I don’t do it, it does not get done!

On a Sunday I work all day and its dads turn to run the house and try and control the kids. Bless him he tries his best but it’s never quite done.

Example- the dishes will be done but soggy food and sponge left in sink (always), he also leaves a few pieces of cutlery…why? Who knows? The sides are wiped but around the objects on the tops. The bread/juice/butter/insert objects that don’t belong there are left out. He will argue that am not perfect and leave stuff out all the time but answer me this who is one who also puts that away…yep it’s me!
He says hes “helping me out..” like its my job.

I come from a family where traditional roles were the norm, my granddad sat on his bum after a long day’s work and my granny fannied around him. My dad is the same, he doesnt know where the cleaning products are kept and when we were little if my mum was away we all headed to gran’s who would resume the role of mum.

At this time, gender roles are big news. With talk of gender neutral teachings for children and equal rights for women, Am I wrong to say that a women’s main place is still in the home?

OK OK, I know this isn’t completely true. We aren’t expected to be a just to be a wife and mother anymore; we are expected to be those things and more, respectively.

Chained to the kitchen sink, with a child on each ankle and the laptop on the side with the work we need to catch up with. We are doing it all…I mean having it all.

We bring home the bacon, cook it, feed it to the kids and tidy up the mess after and looking wonderfully sexy and beautiful as we do it, aren’t we great?

The role of mum has changed over the years; we really do have it all. Our plates are so full we need a side plate for all the extras that have been added and aren’t we doing making a good job of it?
Dad roles have changed too, you just have to watch call the midwife at the moment to see that men were still expected to be men and not involved in the madness of bringing up baby and my moans of my husband not helping out would be returned with stares of confusion.
Can I just also write, I have a friend who bousted he has never changed a nappy because his wife likes to do it…the child is nearly one!! What makes you a dad and not just a sperm donor?!

Yes, it’s hard and we have days like today where we say “fook it” and leave the dishes to pile high and have some time to just not do anything. To watch back to back call the midwife or to just meet a friend and have a long overdue catch up because I know the dishes will still be there tomorrow (even if I had washed them am sure the sink would still have been full.)

So ladies we have moved on and are so bloody brilliant we can perform the work of the old ways too. Just remember dads have evolved too, they are expected to be hand on and do more around the house, even if it’s badly done at least he’s trying…bless, he just need the practice.

MUMFORCE

Mumforce

Gail aka Mumforce, is a Scottish lifestyle / parenting blogger and a mum of two, based in Edinburgh. After giving birth to 2 little darlings Gail focussed some attention towards rediscovering/discovering herself. Being a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother can take a lot out of the best of us. Whilst in amongst/ dealing with all the unpredictability’s in life it’s an easy thing to go into pilot mode/ forget to catch your breath and although bringing up another human being is arguably one of the most difficult challenges a human can be blessed with – “it can often be the case the we want more in respect to purpose, something that is just me”. Gail is open about her mental health and hopes that through writing, honestly about her experiences she can allow others to open up and no longer feel alone. As well as talking/writing about her struggles with mental health, Gail blogs about daily life, women’s rights and issues that some are afraid to address. Throw in a few family outing reviews, product reviews and mum fashion and we have a very mixed bag which truly represents the addictive randomness that is Mumforce. ​To begin with Gail found writing as a form of therapy and a hobby however through her literacy journey Gail’s lifelong pursuit of seeking acceptance has been redefined – “ I finally understood that it was self acceptance that was being sought and have since embraced every ounce of human emotion and solidified its presence through my words”. A unique character who we can all relate to who gives a fantastic reflection of the main battle we have in life, “the person staring back at me in the mirror”.

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