The daily grind: A mothers view.

Hilary Light - 7 Feb 19

There’s a famous quote from Robert Brault which says: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things”.

As a mum of three under 7 that quote can feel a little overwhelming. The daily routine of losing their school uniform, the fact they won’t brush their teeth, having temporary deafness when I ask them to put on their shoes for the 10^th time in the morning, the freezing / hammering rain school runs and when we eventually get to school and have forgotten that homework / form / water bottle / recycling for junk modelling (add as appropriate) the immediate “Mum WHY did you forget to” accusation. Those little things?

I recently realised I hadn’t printed out any photos since my eldest was a baby. Paranoia crept up on me. What if someone stole our computer or it broke and then my children’s entire childhood (as captured on my iPhone mostly) would disappear. I have a memory like a sieve and need those photos to remind myself (let alone them) what themes their birthday parties were, where we spent Christmases etc.

I tasked myself with doing it and as I dutifully sat down to create a digital photobook the task ahead became evidently huge. I had thousands upon thousands of photos – the time we went camping, the many weekends their cousins came to stay, all our DIY house photos with the kids getting in on the action, evenings down at the beach after school and also all those firsts – the first tooth which came out, the first bike ride, the first day at school.

But more than that I realised through my iPhone I was documenting most weeks. The photobook became less about the holidays, birthdays and big days out and more about the day to day – the playdates, local park meets, impromptu bbqs, living room den making, tallest lego towers constructed and accidental (if slightly hilarious) muddy consequences of country walks…

So actually maybe indirectly I had been celebrating the little things, I had captured them and the photobooks I’ve created captured the highs and lows of herding three small kids perfectly (or should that be imperfectly) as they are. As I looked at the photobooks which the printers posted back I realised I wouldn’t get those times back and even though the days sometimes felt long when I was living them I felt a twinge of sadness.

Anna Mathur (@annamathur) recently talked about reframing the daily grind more positively in our heads changing the way we talk through our (seemingly) endless lists from “I’ve got to” to “I get to” to embrace the moment. Looking back at those photos I realise what a huge privilege it has been to grow and live with these 3 little firecrackers over the past 7 years and what they’ve bought to my life and maybe I should remember how lucky I am to be able to say “I get to”.

So here’s to living in the moment, embracing the chaos of not knowing what day it is and actually remembering some of the mistakes we make and frustrations we feel are all part of the story (I forgot to take the kids shoes to school last week. Don’t ask!). Yes those moments feel like new lows, but actually they’re all part of the fabric of our daily lives. There will be lows, there will be highs, but I know it’s those “ordinary” days that I’ll miss the most.

Hilary Light

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