The One where Power of Mum ruminates on the Power of Words…
1
Oh Pheebs, how I love you.
So much of the language I use today is based on binge-watching Friends as a teenager (for teenager read today, whenever I can, particularly the DVDs. I get giddy with excitement watching a full episode and find myself gleefully shrieking “that bit was cut on the telly! It was CUT! All CUT!!!”)
For those who aren’t Friends obsessive, the episode to which I refer has Phoebe persuading Rachel to leave a flight, by telling her there’s something wrong with the left phalange. An already emotional and anxious Rachel is
SelfishMother.com
2
quickly persuaded to abandon ship (plane, surely), fear spreads quickly and the inner of the aircraft is soon full of panicking travellers.
A daft example perhaps, but it’s extraordinary how words can change our lives in an instant. Those tiny, amazing, powerful things can have such a seismic impact on our mood, our approach, our choices.
Never has this been demonstrated more plainly to me than during the birth of my firstborn compared to my secondborn.
Words I remember hearing in birth 1:
“She is FAILING To Progress.”
”She’s ONLY
SelfishMother.com
3
3cm.”
She’s definitely STRUGGLING with fatigue.”
“THAT WASN’T ACTIVE LABOUR, it’s time to GET DESPERATE!” (Seriously.)
Words I remember hearing in birth 2:
“She’s doing it her way and it’s AMAZING.
“You’re doing it.”
Trust your body, trus your baby, we trust you.”
Second time round I knew that the power of words was monumental – that they had the potential to take my birth in such dramatically differing directions.
Second time round I harnessed my Power 💥 and spoke to the (incredible) caregivers about words I
SelfishMother.com
4
didn’t want to hear.
Second time round – was I still floored by the intensity of the feelings – my goodness my Guinness you betcha.
Second time round all my husband needed to say was “you’re brilliant. Relax your jaw. You’re brilliant,” and because we’d practiced our techniques and prepared for birth as a team I was sorted.
It would be naive and irresponsible to suggest that words alone could guarantee you a fabulous birth – but they don’t half help.
One more bit of advice though – don’t have Phoebe’s song about babies in as
SelfishMother.com
5
you labour…
“They’re tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they’ll grow up and resent you so much
Now they’re yelling at you and you don’t know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry…”
SelfishMother.com
This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?
Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can for free and post immediately.
We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)
Laura Oldfield - 19 Oct 17
Oh Pheebs, how I love you.
So much of the language I use today is based on binge-watching Friends as a teenager (for teenager read today, whenever I can, particularly the DVDs. I get giddy with excitement watching a full episode and find myself gleefully shrieking “that bit was cut on the telly! It was CUT! All CUT!!!”)
For those who aren’t Friends obsessive, the episode to which I refer has Phoebe persuading Rachel to leave a flight, by telling her there’s something wrong with the left phalange. An already emotional and anxious Rachel is quickly persuaded to abandon ship (plane, surely), fear spreads quickly and the inner of the aircraft is soon full of panicking travellers.
A daft example perhaps, but it’s extraordinary how words can change our lives in an instant. Those tiny, amazing, powerful things can have such a seismic impact on our mood, our approach, our choices.
Never has this been demonstrated more plainly to me than during the birth of my firstborn compared to my secondborn.
Words I remember hearing in birth 1:
“She is FAILING To Progress.”
”She’s ONLY 3cm.”
She’s definitely STRUGGLING with fatigue.”
“THAT WASN’T ACTIVE LABOUR, it’s time to GET DESPERATE!” (Seriously.)
Words I remember hearing in birth 2:
“She’s doing it her way and it’s AMAZING.
“You’re doing it.”
Trust your body, trus your baby, we trust you.”
Second time round I knew that the power of words was monumental – that they had the potential to take my birth in such dramatically differing directions.
Second time round I harnessed my Power 💥 and spoke to the (incredible) caregivers about words I didn’t want to hear.
Second time round – was I still floored by the intensity of the feelings – my goodness my Guinness you betcha.
Second time round all my husband needed to say was “you’re brilliant. Relax your jaw. You’re brilliant,” and because we’d practiced our techniques and prepared for birth as a team I was sorted.
It would be naive and irresponsible to suggest that words alone could guarantee you a fabulous birth – but they don’t half help.
One more bit of advice though – don’t have Phoebe’s song about babies in as you labour…
“They’re tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they’ll grow up and resent you so much
Now they’re yelling at you and you don’t know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry…”
Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!
Why not , too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!
Hi, and thanks so much for stopping by! I'm Laura, and I'm the founder of Power of Mum. I love a hot bath. I'm also on a mission to gently encourage a world of confident, compassionate, creative women, one client at a time. This looks like creating communities of women who support each other to live deeply contented lives, rooted in confidence and positivity. Or, to be practical, I help women find confidence and clarity to lead the lives they want, and get unstuck. I'm also a secondary school music teacher, professional classical singer, podcaster and POET.
LIST 
