1
I have struggled this week to think about what to write.
I have had great days and really shit days this week and I think I can pretty much aunt Flo for the emotional rollercoaster I have had.
Periods…they are shit aren’t they?
They can work like clockwork and ruin your day or they can surprise you and ruin a day and probably your underwear.
We need them to have babies, we have them more of our adult life than we don’t and they are a pain in the ass!
I got my period very late, I was 16 and I remember it well as it was sports day and I
SelfishMother.com
2
was wearing my Adidas popper jogging trousers. Classic! They were white…
Despite the whole I have ruined the coolest joggers ever I was very excited to be joining my friends in this step to womanhood. I had been lying for years that I had mine, my little sister even bet me there by 3 years!!!
The excitement quickly disappeared and that little bitch came monthly and ruined so many good thongs; why did we wear those things!?
Other than a monthly inconvenience we don’t think about them much, we prayed for them to come in our 20’s to prove that
SelfishMother.com
3
we had been smart enough not to get up the duff and that was usually the biggest achievement of the month.
Then when you’re ready, you think ok am going to have a baby and with no real understanding of how it all works you think “ok, have sex and make a baby”
It can be this straight forward, we all know someone who has had an oops moment or maybe it’s even happened to you but for others. It’s not so simple.
You can have sex and not get pregnant, if no egg, no baby. Same goes with sperm and conditions and blah blah blah!
Our periods
SelfishMother.com
4
make us cry, make us dumb, make us horny and at times a rage not to be messed with.
Some random period facts
The word tampon comes from the French word “plug”. Nice
Your period can turn you into a shopaholic ….
Periods can make you bleed from OTHER parts of your body—not just your uterus.
You could have as little as 150 or as many as 450 periods in your life
Heavy periods could mean you have a hormone imbalance
A girl’s first menstrual period is called a menarche (from the Greek word men = month + arkhe = beginning). After the menarche,
SelfishMother.com
5
ovulation does not usually occur with menstruation for approximately the first year to 18 months
The human female egg is the largest cell in the human body. It is the only human cell that can be seen with the naked eye.
Periods tend to be heavier, more painful, and longer in the colder months.
Some women are heavy clotters and pass chunks of coagulated blood during their periods. The clots come from uterine contractions and cramping so frequent that the blood doesn’t have time to thin out before passing. A few dime size or smaller clots a day during
SelfishMother.com
6
a period is normal
Eighty-one percent of women say they’ve experienced dysmenorrhea (painful cramps). This occurs because the prostaglandin hormone causes the uterus to cramp, causing the abdomen to spasm.
In the eighteenth century in Saigon, no woman was employed in the opium industry because it was believed that if a menstruating woman were near, the opium would become ruined and bitter.
Because women weigh more than they did in the past, women tend to start their periods at younger ages and stop them at older ages (fat cells produce more
SelfishMother.com
7
estrogen). Scholars also suggest that hormones in modern food have led to earlier menstruation.
Because zero-gravity affects blood flow, NASA initially worried that a menstruating woman would die in space.
So the period is a pretty fascinating thing though also completely horrifying.
I have done having my babies now and I wish my body would listen as I wish I could just turn them off. They are messy, smelly, annoying and always mostly inconvenient.
MumForce – www.mumforce.co.uk
SelfishMother.com
This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?
Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can for free and post immediately.
We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)
Mumforce - 6 Mar 18
I have struggled this week to think about what to write.
I have had great days and really shit days this week and I think I can pretty much aunt Flo for the emotional rollercoaster I have had.
Periods…they are shit aren’t they?
They can work like clockwork and ruin your day or they can surprise you and ruin a day and probably your underwear.
We need them to have babies, we have them more of our adult life than we don’t and they are a pain in the ass!
I got my period very late, I was 16 and I remember it well as it was sports day and I was wearing my Adidas popper jogging trousers. Classic! They were white…
Despite the whole I have ruined the coolest joggers ever I was very excited to be joining my friends in this step to womanhood. I had been lying for years that I had mine, my little sister even bet me there by 3 years!!!
The excitement quickly disappeared and that little bitch came monthly and ruined so many good thongs; why did we wear those things!?
Other than a monthly inconvenience we don’t think about them much, we prayed for them to come in our 20’s to prove that we had been smart enough not to get up the duff and that was usually the biggest achievement of the month.
Then when you’re ready, you think ok am going to have a baby and with no real understanding of how it all works you think “ok, have sex and make a baby”
It can be this straight forward, we all know someone who has had an oops moment or maybe it’s even happened to you but for others. It’s not so simple.
You can have sex and not get pregnant, if no egg, no baby. Same goes with sperm and conditions and blah blah blah!
Our periods make us cry, make us dumb, make us horny and at times a rage not to be messed with.
Some random period facts
The word tampon comes from the French word “plug”. Nice
Your period can turn you into a shopaholic ….
Periods can make you bleed from OTHER parts of your body—not just your uterus.
You could have as little as 150 or as many as 450 periods in your life
Heavy periods could mean you have a hormone imbalance
A girl’s first menstrual period is called a menarche (from the Greek word men = month + arkhe = beginning). After the menarche, ovulation does not usually occur with menstruation for approximately the first year to 18 months
The human female egg is the largest cell in the human body. It is the only human cell that can be seen with the naked eye.
Periods tend to be heavier, more painful, and longer in the colder months.
Some women are heavy clotters and pass chunks of coagulated blood during their periods. The clots come from uterine contractions and cramping so frequent that the blood doesn’t have time to thin out before passing. A few dime size or smaller clots a day during a period is normal
Eighty-one percent of women say they’ve experienced dysmenorrhea (painful cramps). This occurs because the prostaglandin hormone causes the uterus to cramp, causing the abdomen to spasm.
In the eighteenth century in Saigon, no woman was employed in the opium industry because it was believed that if a menstruating woman were near, the opium would become ruined and bitter.
Because women weigh more than they did in the past, women tend to start their periods at younger ages and stop them at older ages (fat cells produce more estrogen). Scholars also suggest that hormones in modern food have led to earlier menstruation.
Because zero-gravity affects blood flow, NASA initially worried that a menstruating woman would die in space.
So the period is a pretty fascinating thing though also completely horrifying.
I have done having my babies now and I wish my body would listen as I wish I could just turn them off. They are messy, smelly, annoying and always mostly inconvenient.
MumForce – www.mumforce.co.uk
Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!
Why not , too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!
Gail aka Mumforce, is a Scottish lifestyle / parenting blogger and a mum of two, based in Edinburgh.
After giving birth to 2 little darlings Gail focussed some attention towards rediscovering/discovering herself. Being a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother can take a lot out of the best of us. Whilst in amongst/ dealing with all the unpredictability’s in life it’s an easy thing to go into pilot mode/ forget to catch your breath and although bringing up another human being is arguably one of the most difficult challenges a human can be blessed with – “it can often be the case the we want more in respect to purpose, something that is just me”.
Gail is open about her mental health and hopes that through writing, honestly about her experiences she can allow others to open up and no longer feel alone. As well as talking/writing about her struggles with mental health, Gail blogs about daily life, women’s rights and issues that some are afraid to address. Throw in a few family outing reviews, product reviews and mum fashion and we have a very mixed bag which truly represents the addictive randomness that is Mumforce.
To begin with Gail found writing as a form of therapy and a hobby however through her literacy journey Gail’s lifelong pursuit of seeking acceptance has been redefined – “ I finally understood that it was self acceptance that was being sought and have since embraced every ounce of human emotion and solidified its presence through my words”. A unique character who we can all relate to who gives a fantastic reflection of the main battle we have in life, “the person staring back at me in the mirror”.
LIST 
