This morning I was broken

Alexandra Rickerby - 26 Sep 17

Well, it finally happened. This morning started off with our 23-month-old son Freddie asking for his Dad at 530am and we never really recovered. I can’t even tell you what eventually sent him into a tailspin. If it was actually anything specific at all but there I was at 730am having been hit in the face at least half a dozen times and bitten I placed him on the bed and closed the door.

He yelled furiously for what felt like hours (It was about 20 minutes). I tried everything. I tried giving him space, I tried cuddling him, I tried talking to him, I tried distracting him then I tried them all again, then I did nothing and I cried on my own in the kitchen. NOTHING made any difference. At times he was quiet and then in other moments he would slam the door. He waited until I was almost there before staring at me and SLAMMING it in my face (AT 23 MONTHS old!). He came out of his room then rolled around so furiously on the floor. I tried to read his favourite story, show him the sky and the trees but I ended up being hit so the pressure cooker in me went up a notch and I walked away again. 

I called my mum. I am 36 years old and I CALLED MY MUM and said I have no idea what to do!! I am doing all of these things and nothing works. Is it me? Have I created a child who thinks to hit and bite is acceptable? No, of course not but my goodness this is the hardest morning so far and I could not understand it. I shouted so loudly that I would have hated to be on the receiving end of it. I knew it didn’t help at all but here I was still shouting YOU DO NOT HIT YOUR MUMMY. Bye bye, Danish parenting.

I do know that when I am rational and not sleep deprived and with other very reassuring Mummys that this is normal behaviour. It is part of the process and I know that 95% of the time we make a great team. But sweet Zeus can I just ask that it is a while before we have to go through that again? I am sorry that I wasn’t a calm zen earth mother in that moment, I am sorry I couldn’t see the funny side but most of all I am sorry you felt so much anger and pain that you had nothing to do but hit out.

Thank goodness for our local playgroup with biscuits and mum chat. That rescued both of us this morning – best £2 I ever spend. I promise to do better next time.

Alexandra Rickerby is a blogger at flapsandbaps.com. To read more blogs and tips check out facebook.com/flapsandbaps or visit flapsandbaps.com

Alexandra Rickerby

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