We Fail When We Wail: Noise in The Birth Room and How We’ve Got it All Wrong

Emma Culley-Morgan - 6 Apr 18

As a Hypnobirthing teacher I hear a lot of stories from the birth world. Lots of really inspiring, heartwarming, positive stories but also some really negative ones that make me so angry I want to rip someone’s head off. I heard a story a while ago from a woman who had taken a Hypnobirthing course and the teacher was showing them, what sounded like a great birth video. At the end the teacher said ‘That would have been perfect had the woman not made that noise at the end”…..I SHIT YOU NOT. She said it. This. From an educator….a hypnobirthing educator no less. And just so you know this is not typical of Hypnobirthing but it is a lesson to shop around and find a teacher that well, isn’t shit…..the odds are in your favour because most of us, I’m happy to say, know what we’re talking about.

Well, shit-the-bed. Since when did we have to give birth in silence? Who made up that rule? I call BULLSHIT on that.

As females most of us have been culturally conditioned to be quiet, agreeable, well behaved throughout most of our lives. Boys are Monkeys and Girls are Princesses don’t you know? When it comes to noise-making in the birth room I feel we may have also been conditioned en masse into believing this is a negative thing. I know from my observations growing up of constructed representations on television of women birthing that sound = pain. Noise = being out of control, helpless. This association was reinforced to the point where upon hearing any sound from a birthing woman on screen, my toes would begin to curl. But hell yeah, you guessed it I’m now calling bullshit on that too!

Let’s put the record straight, noise and lots of it from a birthing woman is awesome. Noise = power in my book of badass. The more noise the better. Okay, so there are a multitude of different noises that can come from a birthing woman. Some never heard before, some we never thought we were capable of making. I roared like a lioness at one point. There are noises that can indicate a loss of control or a maternal intuition of something being wrong but how will we ever recognise these sounds and respond to them if we are systematically and culturally telling women to be quiet? All noises are positive in this respect. All noise is communication and necessary expression. Mostly though, they are not noises to warn us. They are primal, ancient, instinctive sounds that tell us everything is well. Good midwives will listen very carefully to the sounds of a birthing woman as an indicator of how she is progressing through labour. Good partners will listen for cues as to what the woman wants at that particular time and respond appropriately. No words are needed when trust and a strong connection exists….and women feel safe to freely express themselves.

I can’t help but think if we, from day dot, were encouraged to express ourselves freely, to run and jump and shout and roar as ferociously as boys with mud on our faces and grass in our hair, we would feel much more free to express our power in the birth room through noise and be much more able to recognise that power in others.

Emma Culley-Morgan

Positive Birth Coach

Founder of Awesome Mama Antenatal

Emma Culley-Morgan

Positive birth coach, founder of Awesome Mama Antenatal, feminist, rebel, believer in the sheer awesomeness of females.

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