What You See

SARAH TOPPING - 6 Mar 18

How are you?
I cried last night.
I’m fine, fine!
I cried into the pillows whilst the baby cried in his cot, next to me.
It’s a bit of a challenge isn’t it, sometimes!
The tiredness made me so heavy, I couldn’t move, as he wailed and I cried.
Still, it won’t last forever, will it?
I pulled myself together, ready to comfort him.
They’re not babies for long!
Sighing deeply as I wished I could sink into sleep. Just One Night’s Sleep, after so long.
Who needs sleep anyway?
I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.
It won’t be for much longer . . .
But go on I will.
I’ll miss these moments when they’re gone.
He needs me.
It’s such a precious time!
I remind myself again and again.
Drink it in. Savour it. Clasp that tiny hand tight.
In those moments, if you could see me, stumbling around in the dark, unfocused and sleep denied.
Kiss that pudgy cheek. Revel in his giggles. Hold him close.
Drained. Happy. Worried. Grateful. Exhausted. Glad. Short-tempered. Lucky.
Oh yes, I’m just fine!
For now this is how it will be.
Because I love him beyond words. His smile lights me up. The very fact of him, being here, it is everything.
You see?

(Image credit Neon Warehouse via Etsy)

SARAH TOPPING

Sarah Topping is a freelance creative copywriter at Playing with Words and former copywriter at Penguin Children's. Her clients include Pottermore from J.K. Rowling, Enid Blyton Entertainment, BBC Worldwide, Puffin Books and World Book Day. Sarah lives in London with her husband Adam and their sons Zachary and Jonah, who rock (and rule) their world. In between freelancing, she writes children’s stories and blogs about motherhood in all its guises, from the magic and joy to the potty training, tantrums and tripping over toys (pass the wine!). @SarahTopping3

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