Why I Let My Toddler Play Outside Alone

Jennifer Landis - 17 Jul 18

I’m neither “free-range” nor a “helicopter” when it comes to my parenting style, but somewhere smack-dab in the middle. That means helmets and car seats are must, along with staying in line of mommy’s sight. I don’t resort to a leash, even though there has been the odd occasion where I’ve daydreamed about it. Just kidding. Mostly.

The early years matter for development. Neurons that go unused get lost in a snooze-you-loose kind of biology. So I want my kid to get the most she can now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stick to her like glue. Autonomy matters, especially during toddler years. She learns to make choices, within safe doses, deal with consequences and rebound. She learns to trust herself.

So I let her pilot her way outside unsupervised, and she gives Dora the Explorer a run for her monkey boots.

My Kid Rocks Solo Safaris

I like nature, but my kid *loves* nature. I love Netflix and “mommy juice” — during solo time, of course. I make time to play with my daughter at the playground and I love her imagination, but it’s important that she goes on solo safaris, too. The last few months? I’ve let her do just that.

It started small — I’d glance up quickly to check on her and she’d be just fine and smile up at Mommy. The line of sight grew a bit longer, but she never gets out of sight. My daughter knows and respects my guidelines. We’ve slipped into a natural routine these days, with her carrying her little shoes, ready to head outdoors after a nap. It reminds me of how I used to go for runs in the morning to wake my body up.

I feel so fortunate to have a kid that naturally wants to go outside and play instead of stare at a screen all day. She’s content to sketch with sidewalk chalk on the patio, have conversations with her stuffed animals and play with her outside toys.

I was so scared that she’d get hurt or wander off one day, but she never has — and rather than hesitate or worry about others’ perceptions of danger or neglect, I trust my kid and this beautiful unfolding of her autonomy. She rocks at solo safaris!

Here are a few more reasons why I make no apologies and let my toddler play outside alone.

It’s Reasonably Safe, While Engaging

We can’t protect our kids from everything. My child isn’t a toddler version of Dennis the Menace wandering all over the neighborhood and causing chaos. She plays in a fenced-in backyard right in my eyesight. Experts say kids should play for at least 60 minutes a day for adequate physical activity, but most kids over eight spend 7.5 hours staring at screens — like a work day for parents. That’s sad. My daughter’s at the perfect age to transition into a playset. Her imagination never lacks for entertainment, either.

If she bonks a body part, her banshee shriek alerts me to band-aid duty. She learns to self-soothe and avoid the potential ouchies in the future.

She’s Growing

My kid is sprouting upward too quickly. Fresh air is good for the mind, body and soul. When my daughter explores, she learns about the world around her and appreciates the workings of nature more. Creative, unstructured play boosts her brain development along with her physical growth. She develops strong bones from exposure to the sun and activity while growing emotionally and cognitively.

We Have a Barker Alarm

Our fierce pooch is sweet and playful but barks like crazy at strangers. We have a barker alarm in place, folks, who also herds my kid like a loyal sheepdog. In many ways, dogs are like kids and make the perfect play and protective companions.

What’s “Old Enough?”

My kid doesn’t live in a bubble. She can speak for herself in a way that most adults understand her basics wants and needs. Her imagination is off the charts, and outdoor play is what’s best for my toddler — not when she’s seven.

I’m Her Person

While I’m sure the teen years will be a field day and a half, for now, I’m still her person. My daughter regularly checks in with me with peek-a-boo stealth. I must kiss the boo-boos, bless random fairy tribes and make weird faces on occasion.

Common Sense — My Kid Has It

Street smarts come with age and experience and you don’t expect it from a toddler. That said, my toddler has common sense and I know she won’t go on a fence-climbing mini-Godzilla rampage around the neighborhood. My kid knows how to fall without ever having taken a martial arts class.

She looks at me like, “Mama, I don’t think that’s such a good idea” sometimes. Yeah, the teen years are going to be fun.

Mama’s Got Stuff to Do

Yes, my child is the center of my universe. Yes, I love her. Yes, I’d do anything for her.

That said, I have a life and a family to take care of, too. My to-do list is long and autonomous outdoor playtime means Mama gets more stuff done. I have more time for my kid, too. It’s a win-win.

It’s Fantabulous to Watch

Forget telenovelas and documentaries. My child is the star of her own show and I have the privilege of watching her discover herself right in her own backyard.

So I’m somewhere between a helicopter-haunting and a free-range mama. Helmets, yes. Leashes, no. And Dora the Explorer, girl, you need to look out. Stardust is outpacing your monkey boots.

Jennifer Landis

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