WHY MEN SECRETLY LOVE CELLULITE

David Coppi - 1 Sep 14

I met my wife when she was twenty four years of age. She was a dancer back then and very fit. Not surprisingly she didn’t have a skerrick of cellulite on her. Eight years later and now the proud mother of one child, she has a barely noticeable amount of cellulite on her upper thighs. This repulses her. She knows that I don’t care but she regularly complains about how it looks and feels.

It drives me crazy when I compliment my wife on how nice her legs are, only to have her squeeze an area of skin together between her hands to create a patch of cellulite, and then protest about how ghastly it is. So in effect she’s creating an area of cellulite and then complaining about it. And I thought I understood women?!

I’ll let you in on a little secret though. This might be betraying the brotherhood but here it is, in all its simplicity. We care what you look like, but not that much. That didn’t quite come out right, let me try again. A lot of men might talk a big game but when it boils down to it, we’re just happy that you’re letting us look at you naked.

I think what I’m trying to say is disregard all of those pet hates you have about your body and your appearance because men generally don’t care. Men are sexually charged creatures. That’s a nice way of saying we’re always horny. We don’t usually see the imperfections that you think are there as we’re either too busy concentrating on the task at hand or we’re giggling on the inside like a teenager because a girl is letting us touch them.

One of the biggest misconceptions many women have is that men are turned off by cellulite. This is true in some cases however an overwhelming majority of men take no issue with cellulite and even embrace it. Cellulite reminds us that we are in the company of a real woman, not an airbrushed model or pornstar.

Some describe cellulite as sexy Braille. I like this. Others, particularly women, label it as disgusting. Ninety percent of women have cellulite so shouldn’t that make it normal? Clearly those women who don’t have cellulite are in the minority.  I must admit that I find morbidly obese women (and men) who have cellulite a lot less appealing than someone with cellulite at a more normal weight. However for the majority of women in healthy weight ranges who have cellulite, loosen up a little and don’t be so concerned. The male friends I have spoken to seem to care very little about cellulite and understand that it is a part of life, especially as we are all ageing.

As a teenager full of hormones and misinformation from the older kids, I wrongly thought that cellulite was horrible and vowed to marry a woman free from the cellulite-scourge. As I matured I came to realise that sooner or later most women would begin to show signs of cellulite. And it’s not like us men can talk, what with our hairy backs and protruding pot-bellies.

On the search for endless perfection I think comedy writer Jane Wagner said it best, “I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again that my cellulite must have déjà vu”. Amen, sister.

Beauty is absolutely more than skin deep and I’d much prefer a beautiful mind than a beautiful body. If you can find someone with both however, hold onto them.

Why is it that we put so much emphasis on appearance anyway? Is it the influence of the media where we can’t escape images and footage of supposedly perfect bodies? Is it our own expectations, formed and shaped throughout our lives and past experiences? I imagine it is a combination of both, coupled with the innate insecurity many people experience.

If you are a woman who is worried about cellulite, take comfort in the knowledge that most men actually have no problem with it. Embrace your shape and its natural beauty and allow others to enjoy your mind and body. As I recently told my wife, if she suddenly developed a lot more cellulite overnight, it wouldn’t faze me. It’s her that I love as a whole, and that includes every last little bit of sexy Braille.

So what have we learned? Men like sex. A lot. Secondly, men don’t care about the supposed flaws that you believe you have. Lastly, us men-folk are truly simple creatures. You see cellulite whereas we see a great bum and a nice pair of legs. You see a defect however we just see you, and you are beautiful.

David Coppi

David Coppi is an author, chiropractor, bonsai enthusiast and punk-rock loving father to ten month old Cherry. He lives in Adelaide, South Australia. His book 'Think Act Grow: Success Principles for Young People and Parents' is available now through Amazon.

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