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I’m just going to be open with honest here — the working mom life is a mixed bag, much like the one you lug around on your shoulder day in and day out. They say you shouldn’t mix your cosmetics with your baby’s diapers in the same bag, or you may pack the baby monitor instead of your smartphone — but what do they know?
Like that bag, the working mom life will run you ragged with joy, frustration and every emotion in between. You desk-cry because your baby clearly loves the nanny the most. You face down toddler tirade tears as you drop your
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kid off at daycare, and instantly, your child is a clingy little angel who loves mommy and not the screeching howler monkey they were before.
Some days, work serves as an escape with a set schedule and deadlines that you appreciate, and others — you do your best to make it through.
No More “Free” Hours at Work
Not that they were ever truly free, but say goodbye to your lunch and cocktail hours. If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll spend any “free” time as a pump “break” feeling like a cow hooked up to a machine.
While coworkers
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decide where they’ll lunch, you’re busy force-feeding yourself something bigger than your mouth while trying to remember your password to pay your power bill. Some like to network and grab an after work drink, but you can feel your kiddo crying for you in your bones. There’s no “Maybe next time.” Those are just nice words.
After the tears, yours and your child’s, you get sweet snuggles and a glass of wine with Netflix. It’s not bad at all.
People Think You’re Playing the Kid Card
You leave early to pick up your child or push to clock
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out on the dot, or as close to it as possible. To others, it looks like you always get to leave early, but since you’ve had a kid, you pushed your nose so far into the grindstone that you don’t have one. People assume you’re playing the kid card, using your kid as an excuse to go home. They expect you to hide your motherhood and when you don’t, you’re the bad guy. They need to get their noses out of your business.
In reality, you’re pinky-fingering your way into your work email while wiping away whatever baby-goo substance your child
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recently excreted. Heck, you may be wearing two babies right now and tickling a toddler with your toes. You’ll be on your email until you manage to conk out and get some semblance of sleep. When you wake up, your partner finds each of your hands in a death grip, one on the baby monitor and the other on your smartphone.
Your Mom Work Crew Is a Thang-And-A-Half
Move over PTA — the mom work crew has its own mix of support and superiority complexes. Who else do you talk to about how your kid decided to redecorate the wall with their poo, instead of
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potty training? Not Childless Cindy from accounting. You share it with your mom work crew because they understand you.
Or, so you think. Other days, you feel like an alien traveling alone from the world of Bad Mom. Some of these working moms look like they’re Amazonian Queens fighting off the patriarchy, feeding their three kids with three boobs and still delivering at work. Oprah high-fives these women on the street.
Meanwhile, you must eat your favorite things in the bathroom. So far, your child hasn’t discovered your secret stash. How the
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heck do these women stay so freaking clean and thin? Some of these working moms are downright catty, but others you have to question if the government is somehow involved with genetically engineering super moms.
On your worst days, they somehow know and bring you lunch or coffee, and one of the super moms reveals the secret — it’s all in the power walk, walking tall and proud for great posture and not letting those grocery bags lead the way. You use your hips and legs to lift and carry because your gut’s been through enough. Mom work crews are a
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thang-and-a-half.
Childless Cindy and Carl Rock, Too
As much as you appreciate your mom work crew, there’s only so much you can say about poo — especially when you’re about to try to force-feed yourself another vending machine sandwich.
That’s where Childless Cindy from accounting and Childless Carl from shipping come to your aid. You get to talk about mundane stuff and vicariously live through them. You get to remind yourself that other parts of you exist outside of “I am Mom.”
Your Desk Screams “I Love My Kid”
Your office is
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basically wallpapered in photos of your child. With your walls at home painted in poo and vomit, where else can you display them? Your desk is only “clean” because you need space for photos.
What Weekends?
When you have children, weekends go the way of the dodo bird. They’re magical myths that only yuppies and hipsters believe in — and Childless Carl with his fabulous man beard. You recall witnessing a possible weekend sighting when you got edible glitter in your latte last Thursday after work.
Weekends mean cleaning all the things and
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wondering what time warp you woke up in when everything’s dirty five seconds later.
You Won’t Feel Good Enough, but You’re a Goddess
If weekends went the way of the dodo, then work-life balance is a conspiracy theory — like when folks believe that the world is flat, humans never landed on the moon and Elvis lives. Well, Elvis will always live, especially when you stream “Lilo and Stitch” and dive head first into a bucket of chocolate chip ice cream. It’s dinner for you and your little one, after a long day. Pizza is dessert.
Many days
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may flow like that, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom or that you’re not good enough. You’re a goddess, and sometimes, you and your little one deserve delicious junk food and time to forget the world — and your aching toes.
SelfishMother.com
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Jennifer Landis - 12 Jun 18
I’m just going to be open with honest here — the working mom life is a mixed bag, much like the one you lug around on your shoulder day in and day out. They say you shouldn’t mix your cosmetics with your baby’s diapers in the same bag, or you may pack the baby monitor instead of your smartphone — but what do they know?
Like that bag, the working mom life will run you ragged with joy, frustration and every emotion in between. You desk-cry because your baby clearly loves the nanny the most. You face down toddler tirade tears as you drop your kid off at daycare, and instantly, your child is a clingy little angel who loves mommy and not the screeching howler monkey they were before.
Some days, work serves as an escape with a set schedule and deadlines that you appreciate, and others — you do your best to make it through.
No More “Free” Hours at Work
Not that they were ever truly free, but say goodbye to your lunch and cocktail hours. If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll spend any “free” time as a pump “break” feeling like a cow hooked up to a machine.
While coworkers decide where they’ll lunch, you’re busy force-feeding yourself something bigger than your mouth while trying to remember your password to pay your power bill. Some like to network and grab an after work drink, but you can feel your kiddo crying for you in your bones. There’s no “Maybe next time.” Those are just nice words.
After the tears, yours and your child’s, you get sweet snuggles and a glass of wine with Netflix. It’s not bad at all.
People Think You’re Playing the Kid Card
You leave early to pick up your child or push to clock out on the dot, or as close to it as possible. To others, it looks like you always get to leave early, but since you’ve had a kid, you pushed your nose so far into the grindstone that you don’t have one. People assume you’re playing the kid card, using your kid as an excuse to go home. They expect you to hide your motherhood and when you don’t, you’re the bad guy. They need to get their noses out of your business.
In reality, you’re pinky-fingering your way into your work email while wiping away whatever baby-goo substance your child recently excreted. Heck, you may be wearing two babies right now and tickling a toddler with your toes. You’ll be on your email until you manage to conk out and get some semblance of sleep. When you wake up, your partner finds each of your hands in a death grip, one on the baby monitor and the other on your smartphone.
Your Mom Work Crew Is a Thang-And-A-Half
Move over PTA — the mom work crew has its own mix of support and superiority complexes. Who else do you talk to about how your kid decided to redecorate the wall with their poo, instead of potty training? Not Childless Cindy from accounting. You share it with your mom work crew because they understand you.
Or, so you think. Other days, you feel like an alien traveling alone from the world of Bad Mom. Some of these working moms look like they’re Amazonian Queens fighting off the patriarchy, feeding their three kids with three boobs and still delivering at work. Oprah high-fives these women on the street.
Meanwhile, you must eat your favorite things in the bathroom. So far, your child hasn’t discovered your secret stash. How the heck do these women stay so freaking clean and thin? Some of these working moms are downright catty, but others you have to question if the government is somehow involved with genetically engineering super moms.
On your worst days, they somehow know and bring you lunch or coffee, and one of the super moms reveals the secret — it’s all in the power walk, walking tall and proud for great posture and not letting those grocery bags lead the way. You use your hips and legs to lift and carry because your gut’s been through enough. Mom work crews are a thang-and-a-half.
Childless Cindy and Carl Rock, Too
As much as you appreciate your mom work crew, there’s only so much you can say about poo — especially when you’re about to try to force-feed yourself another vending machine sandwich.
That’s where Childless Cindy from accounting and Childless Carl from shipping come to your aid. You get to talk about mundane stuff and vicariously live through them. You get to remind yourself that other parts of you exist outside of “I am Mom.”
Your Desk Screams “I Love My Kid”
Your office is basically wallpapered in photos of your child. With your walls at home painted in poo and vomit, where else can you display them? Your desk is only “clean” because you need space for photos.
What Weekends?
When you have children, weekends go the way of the dodo bird. They’re magical myths that only yuppies and hipsters believe in — and Childless Carl with his fabulous man beard. You recall witnessing a possible weekend sighting when you got edible glitter in your latte last Thursday after work.
Weekends mean cleaning all the things and wondering what time warp you woke up in when everything’s dirty five seconds later.
You Won’t Feel Good Enough, but You’re a Goddess
If weekends went the way of the dodo, then work-life balance is a conspiracy theory — like when folks believe that the world is flat, humans never landed on the moon and Elvis lives. Well, Elvis will always live, especially when you stream “Lilo and Stitch” and dive head first into a bucket of chocolate chip ice cream. It’s dinner for you and your little one, after a long day. Pizza is dessert.
Many days may flow like that, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom or that you’re not good enough. You’re a goddess, and sometimes, you and your little one deserve delicious junk food and time to forget the world — and your aching toes.
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